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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27199873">Let Me Take Care of You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemondoddle/pseuds/lemondoddle'>lemondoddle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Asexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Canon Asexual Character, Discussions of sex, Do Not Archive (The Magnus Archives), M/M, Set in Episodes 159-160 | Scottish Safehouse Period (The Magnus Archives), Sexual Intimacy, Trans Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Trans Martin Blackwood, ace subtype: physically sex-repulsed but enjoys other aspects of it, ace subtype: uhhh, look i wrote this bc i dont know mine and im trying to figure that out, so lets try this:, this is one big projection fest ok</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:28:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,747</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27199873</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemondoddle/pseuds/lemondoddle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’m just not fully comfortable with the extent of physical intimacy required for a lot of things, but I think I’ve found something that can help with that.” Jon removed his hand from Martin’s to -somewhat shakily-  open the bag and retrieve the object inside.</p><p>or: an exploration of how asexuality changes the priorities of sexual intimacy</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Martin Blackwood/ Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>141</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Let Me Take Care of You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>....hello. so uh pretty recently i realized i was on the ace spectrum and I've been thinking a lot about what exactly being ace means to me and where i fit on that spectrum, and this just. kinda happened?? i really dont know i was debating on even posting this but here it is i project so much onto this</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jon was only slightly shaking as he entered the cottage, carrying two bags of groceries in one hand and white-knuckling a smaller bag in the other. Two steps in and he was already overthinking his purchase. It was sort of a planned impulse buy, he had been thinking about doing something like this for a few days now, but only built up the courage to do it when he had an excuse to be out of the house for a bit and away from Martin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jon are you home, love?” Speaking of,  Martin called from further in the home, and Jon jumped as if he were caught with a hand in the cookie jar. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Christ, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jon thought to himself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>if he sees me like this then he’ll know something is up and I’ll have to explain but I’m not ready quite yet and-  </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jon’s spiraling was interrupted by Martin poking his head out of the bedroom door frame and giving him a warm smile. “There you are!” and all of Jon’s worries melted away for a few seconds because </span>
  <em>
    <span>god </span>
  </em>
  <span>seeing Martin welcoming him home was an all too new and powerful feeling. That Martin had called it home without a second thought and Jon hardly registered it because he started to think of it as home too made Jon’s heart swoop and head clear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatcha got there?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh. Right. “Uhm- just some, groceries.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right. What about that little bag?” Martin pointed a finger to the bag in question.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“W-what, this? Oh uh, nothing! It’s just- well you see,” Jon was fumbling even worse than he thought he would. He’s never been a convincing liar, especially not to Martin. Jon let out a sigh and managed to wrangle his thoughts into something more sensible. “I will explain what this is but I don’t quite know how to say it at the moment.” He tried to show as much desperation in his eyes as possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh..kay… how about, we put these groceries away together and then talk about it, yeah?” Jon gave a stiff nod in agreement and placed the bags on the table. Both kept quiet as they moved around each other to place everything where it belongs. Jon, thinking and rethinking what he was going to say and Martin, who threw a couple curious glances at the discreet black bag a few feet away. Once the groceries were tucked away and there were no more reasons to stall, Jon silently gestured Martin over to their little kitchen table, once again clutching the bag for dear life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Martin was the first to speak. “So, can I ask what’s in the bag and why you’re acting like something cursed is in there? Because I think cursed objects are the last thing we should be bringing into the house right now.” Jon waved his hand and shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, it’s nothing like that…” Jon cleared his throat and brushed a hand through his hair, desperately trying to control the rising heat on his face as he prepared himself to speak. “So, you know how we kiss and I- I like it when we kiss… a lot… but I don’t really have the need or desire to, ah, take things further?” Martin’s expression quickly changed as he processed what Jon was saying, from surprise to gently urging him to continue. “W-well I still don’t, not entirely, but I’ve, ah, been  thinking about certain things and it’s just- I haven’t really been with someone in a while to think about this, but, um..” Jon was staring at the table, unable to look Martin in the eye as he struggled to find the right words, but dared a glance up at Martin when his hand reached over to lay on top of Jon’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jon…” Martin started carefully, “Did you want to take things a little further? Physically?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sort of, n-not really in the way you might be thinking?” Jon could definitely feel his face burning now. “There are, certain aspects about… sex, that I find appealing, but on more general concepts? L-like, uh, the overall sounds and reactions from a partner and being responsible for those sounds is, nice, a-as well as taking care of a partner and making them feel good, but then thinking about the rest and the actual physical actions in reality is what starts to make me uncomfortable.” Jon was staring at the table again, he was sure if you held a candle up to his face the heat would melt it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “So, while I don’t really feel the </span>
  <em>
    <span>urge </span>
  </em>
  <span>to escalate physically, I would still like to do something for you, because I love you and think you deserve that. A-along with me enjoying it in my, in my own way, so-to-speak. However, I need a barrier, a degree of separation of sorts. I’m just not fully comfortable with the extent of physical intimacy required for a lot of things, but I think I’ve found something that can help with that.” Jon removed his hand from Martin’s to -somewhat shakily-  open the bag and retrieve the object inside. Throughout Jon’s entire speech, Martin’s face grew ever redder and more surprised, but this reaction only doubled the moment he laid eyes on what Jon had bought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is- is that a vibrator?” Martin practically squeaked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It... comes with a remote,” was all Jon could reply with as he glanced again at Martin, face scarlet and eyes the size of dinner plates. “The, um, remote would be for me.. If that’s something you’d like to do.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… got this for me?” Martin looked like he was either about to faint or burst into tears, hopefully happy ones.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. I want to take care of you Martin, I mean that, and I’d love to do this for you if you’ll let me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Martin paused for a few moments before answering. “Can I kiss you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jon chuckled. “Of course, come here.” Jon opened arms and Martin practically dove into them, nearly toppling them both over as he kissed Jon soundly, quickly dissolving Jon’s worries of how he’d react to his...proposal. When they broke apart, Martin seemed just as nervously excited as Jon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, when did you want to do this? Tonight?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jon nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the day passed quick enough, and dinner was a light matter as both of them were a bit hopped up on excited nerves to eat anything large. As evening rolled in, Jon took Martin’s hand in his, squeezing a little too hard as he led them to the bedroom. Martin kissed Jon on the cheek as Jon instructed him to go into the bathroom and insert the vibrator, but to keep at least his boxers on as Jon took his binder off, changed into some comfortable pajamas of his own and sat down on their bed, staring at the little remote and the frankly impressive amount of settings. A few minutes later Martin was back with him in the bedroom, joining Jon on the bed in only his boxers. To be quite honest, Jon was glad that Martin forewent a shirt, he just adored Martin’s chest and stomach. Freckles cascaded down his shoulders that Jon could count for days, the little patches of soft chest hair, his top surgery scars, and one of Jon’s favorites: his belly. Big and soft and beautiful, all he wanted to do was lie his head down on it and take the most peaceful sleep of his life. But that’s not what’s happening right now so Jon settled on pressing a quick quick to his belly, earning a light laugh from his love.   </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, did you want to do anything before we get started with, em, that?” Martin gestured to the remote.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I rather think that should be your choice to make here, but I do have something in mind,” Jon took Martin by the shoulders and pulled him close, placing his mouth on his neck and beginning to suck and nip gently, moving around his throat and collarbones. He focused his efforts on areas that he knew would get a reaction out of Martin from the handful of times their kissing got a bit carried away. Those endeavors had been part of the reason Jon wanted to do any of this in the first place. It always seemed that the little noises Martin would make during these times were quieter on purpose, stifling them as if they’d be a disturbance. Well, Jon wouldn’t be having any of that so he got to work, leaving marks in some particularly sensitive areas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“O-ohh, wow, I wasn’t expecting that. N-not that I don’t like it I -</span>
  <em>
    <span>hah</span>
  </em>
  <span>- do I just, was surprised is all!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like I said Martin,” Jon paused, gently breathing on Martin’s neck, “I want to take care of you, I want to make you feel good.” At this, Martin made a small giddy noise that was cut off abruptly with a hitch in his breath as Jon’s knee accidentally bumped in between Martin’s legs. Jon paused at this, then decided to leave one more mark before pulling away to fully face Martin again. “Alright, I suppose, uh, we should get started then.” He picked up the remote again. “I’m going to switch it on to the first setting, okay?” Martin nodded and he pressed the first button on the remote. Immediately Jon could hear the muffled buzzing of the toy, but more importantly he watched Martin’s reaction, who jolted slightly and let out a breathy gasp. “Is that alright?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yyeah, it ah, feels good, hah.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was, quite a scene to take in. Jon was glad that Martin’s lower half was covered and that the vibrator itself couldn’t be seen, but to see Martin begin to squirm as his brows pinched  together and knowing that Jon had caused it was something he quite enjoyed. He let the vibrator run on that setting for a few more moments to let Martin get accustomed to the feeling and just to watch him enjoy it. It was at least clear that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>enjoying the sensation, hips already beginning to make short bucking motions. Moments later Jon placed a hand on his face. “I’m going to put it on the next setting, is that okay?” Martin’s eyes fluttered at his touch and he gave Jon a small hum in confirmation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That-that sounds good.” face flushed with red already. God, he looked so pretty like this, didn’t he?  Jon pressed the next button down and slid his hand down Martin’s arm to clasp their hands together. Martin pitched forward, squeezing Jon’s hand  with a stifled whimper. It was a lovely sound and Jon wanted to coax more noises like that out of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> “You don’t have to keep quiet, dear. I told you I enjoyed hearing the noises from my partner, correct?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah, you di</span>
  <em>
    <span>aaaah</span>
  </em>
  <span>-” Jon upped the intensity on the vibrator while Martin was speaking, turning the end of his sentence into a drawn out moan. Jon couldn’t help but to give a pleased grin to his partner. “You, </span>
  <em>
    <span>ah</span>
  </em>
  <span>, did that on purpose you cheeky bastard!” Martin gave a wobbly grin as he said this and leaned forward to kiss Jon, who once again pressed another button on the remote, this time a pattern setting. Martin moaned into Jon’s mouth  and Jon relished both the sound and the vibration coming from his partner. Jon simply adored the sounds Martin was making,such a pretty way of letting him know he was doing a good job at pleasing his partner. Jon still didn’t feel much of a physical reaction towards this, but he did feel his heart swell with the desire to keep making him feel good in this way, it was a beautiful motivator. He switched the vibrator back to a regular setting, listening to Martin’s breathing become more heavy and vocal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re doing wonderful, Martin. Are you still okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“G-god yes, Jon.” He leaned back on the bed some, eliciting another moan as the toy shifted around inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> It was incredible to see him this way; eyes closed,face flushed, head lolled back, his bare chest hitching with breaths and gasps and moans, it was a renaissance piece all on its own and Jon could have written an essay analysing it.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Martin’s breathing was getting even faster and heavier now and he reached both hands out to grab Jon’s, “I’m, uh getting close now. g-god, I think ‘m gonna, gonna--” He locked eyes with Jon, a silent, pleading question written all over his face. Jon didn’t really know what to say to answer and couldn’t think of any way to say it that didn’t sound gross to him, so he opted for looking him directly in the eyes and nodding his head once again, a silent permission. This seemed to do the trick as Martin leaned his head down to rest on Jon’s shoulder, letting out a long, high-pitched whimpering sigh and shaking against him. Jon was convinced that if there was a mirror in that instant, he would have seen stars in his own eyes. His heart was fit to burst from seeing Martin this way, from knowing that he let Jon see him in this way and allowed him to make him like this. For a few seconds, Jon was lost in his own thoughts, only aware of Martin’s heavy breathing on his neck. He was brought out of his head when Martin shifted uncomfortably and mumbled out, “uh, Jon? The remote?” Oh! Right. Jon released one of his hands from Martin’s death grip and quickly found the remote and switched it off, feeling Martin sigh and relax further into Jon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did so good, dear.” Jon cooed as he reached his free hand up to play with Martin’s curls and Martin let out another heavy but contented sigh. They sat together like that for a short while, letting Martin calm down while Jon just took in all the senses of this moment. Eventually Martin got up to clean himself and Jon got the bed ready. While certain he wasn’t as tired as Martin probably was, the excitement of today’s events left Jon surprisingly worn out as he climbed under the sheets, not even bothering to brush his teeth. Martin soon stumbled into the room and threw himself onto the bed, reaching out for Jon. Jon smiled and shut the lamp off, turning towards Martin to be wrapped up in his embrace, shoving his face into Martin’s chest. “So, I take it you had a good time?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Martin snorted at that. “Yes, yes I did love. It was incredible and I still can’t really believe that happened. Thank you so much.” Martin placed a kiss on the top of Jon’s head. “And...Did you mean it? That you liked my, uh, noises?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course I did, Martin. They were beautiful. It’s like, like hearing you laugh; it means that you’re happy and feeling good and it sounds wonderful, a- and it makes me want to do things so you sound like that more often.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Martin looked absolutely starstruck. “God, I love you so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jon smiled and snuggled closer to Martin’s chest, “I love you too.” They laid there in silence for a few moments letting the sleepiness roll in when Martin broke the silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I still can’t believe you of all people bought that thing and for </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>. If we were back in the early archive days I think I would have keeled over right then and there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should have seen the cashier’s face, they put in quite the effort to maintain a neutral face which I’m sure was for a number of reasons.” Jon could feel the laughter rumble through Martin’s torso, and there was another pause before he spoke again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...So, may I repay the favor and try this on you sometime?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jon flushed all the way to the tips of his ears and down his neck and he hid his face in Martin’s chest. “Um- maybe. I-I’ll put some, thought into it…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Martin chuckled and ran his hands through his partner’s hair, “Okay, I would love to see you the same way, but I won’t push it. Only if you’re fully comfortable with it, yeah?” Jon hummed in response, hoping it conveyed the gratefulness and adoration he felt for his partner. Soon they were drifting off into sleep holding each other close, peaceful and happy for the time being.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hi again thank you so much for reading i love the mortifying ordeal of being known</p></blockquote></div></div>
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